To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
— Psalm 51:1-4
Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.
— Isaiah 6:5
And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
— Luke 15:17-19
And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
— Luke 18:13
When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord. For he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of the fishes which they had taken: And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men. And when they had brought their ships to land, they forsook all, and followed him.
— Luke 5:8-11
Various Prayers of an Awakened Sinner, by Philip Doddridge. The following contains excerpts from his work, “The Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul.”
The Meditation of a Sinner who was once thoughtless, but begins to be awakened.
“Awake, O my forgetful soul, awake from these wandering dreams. Turn thee from this chase of vanity, and for a little while be persuaded, by all these considerations, to look forward, and to look upward, at least for a few moments. Sufficient are the hours and days given to the labors and amusements of life. Grudge not a short allotment of minutes, to view thyself and thine own more immediate concerns: to reflect who and what thou art, how it comes to pass that thou art here, and what thou must quickly be!
“It is indeed as thou hast seen it now represented. O my soul! thou art the creature of God, formed and furnished by him, and lodged in a body which he provided, and which he supports; a body in which he intends thee only a transitory abode. O! think how soon this ‘tabernacle’ must be ‘dissolved,’ (2 Cor. 5:1) and thou must ‘return to God.’ (Eccl. 12:7) And shall He, the One, Infinite, Eternal, Ever blessed, and Ever-glorious Being, shall He be least of all regarded by thee? Wilt thou live and die with this character, saying, by every action of every day, unto God,’Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of thy ways?’ (Job 21:14) The morning, the day, the evening, the night, every period of time has its excuses for this neglect. But O! my soul, what will these excuses appear when examined by his penetrating eye! They may delude me, but they cannot impose upon him.
“O thou injured, neglected, provoked Benefactor! when I think but for a moment or two of all thy greatness and of all thy goodness, I am astonished at this insensibility which has prevailed in my heart, and even still prevails; I ‘blush and am confounded to lift up my face before thee.’ (Ezra 9:6) On the most transient review, I ‘see that I have played the fool,’ that ‘I have erred exceedingly.’ (I Sam. 26:21) And yet this stupid heart of mine would make its having neglected thee so long a reason for going on to neglect thee. I own it might justly be expected, that, with regard to thee, every one of thy rational creatures should be all duty and love; that each heart should be full of a sense of thy presence; and that a care to please thee should swallow up every other care. Yet thou ‘hast not been in all my thoughts;’ (Psa. 10:4) and religion, the end and glory of my nature, has been so strangely overlooked, that I have hardly ever seriously asked my own heart what it is. I know, if matters rest here, I perish; yet I feel in my perverse nature a secret indisposition to pursue these thoughts; a proneness, if not entirely to dismiss them, yet to lay them aside side for the present. My mind is perplexed and divided; but I am sure, thou, who madest me, knowest what is best for me. I therefore beseech thee that thou wilt,’for thy name’s sake, lead me and guide me.’ (Psa. 31:3) Let me not delay till it is for ever too late. ‘Pluck me as a brand out of the burning!’ (Amos 4:11) O break this fatal enchantment that holds down my affection to objects which my judgment comparatively despises! and let me, at length, come into so happy a state of mind that I may not be afraid to think of thee and of myself, and may not be tempted to wish that thou hadst not made me, or that thou couldst forever forget me; that it may not he my best hope, to perish like the brutes.
“If what I shall farther read here be agreeable to truth and reason, if it be calculated to promote my happiness, and is to be regarded as an intimation of thy will and pleasure to me, O God, let me hear and obey! Let the words of thy servant, when pleading thy cause, be like goads to pierce into my mind! and let me rather feel, and smart, than die! Let them be ‘as nails fastened in a sure place;’ Eccl. 12:11; that whatever mysteries as yet unknown, or whatever difficulties there be in religion, if it be necessary, I may not finally neglect it; and that, if it be expedient to attend immediately to it, I may no longer delay that attendance! And, O! let thy grace teach me the lesson I am so slow to learn and conquer that strong opposition which I feel in my heart against the very thought of it! Hear these broken cries, for the sake of thy Son, who has taught and saved many a creature as untractable as I, and can ‘out of stones raise up children unto Abraham!’ (Matt. 3:9) Amen.”
A Prayer for one who is tempted to delay applying to Religion, though under some conviction of its importance.
“O thou righteous and holy Sovereign of heaven and earth! thou God, ‘in whose hand my breath is, and whose are all my ways!’ (Dan. 5:23) I confess I have been far from glorifying thee, or conducting myself according to the intimations or the declarations of thy will. I have therefore reason to adore thy forbearance and goodness, that thou hast not long since stopped my breath, and cut me off from the land of the living. I adore thy patience. that I have not, months and years ago, been an inhabitant of hell, where ten thousand delaying sinners are now lamenting their folly, and will be lamenting it for ever. But, O God, how possible is it that this trifling heart of mine may at length betray me into the same ruin! and then, alas! into a ruin aggravated by all this patience and forbearance of thine! I am convinced that, sooner or later, religion must be my serious care, or I am undone. And yet my foolish heart draws back from the yoke; yet I stretch myself upon the bed of sloth, and cry out for ‘a little more sleep, a little more slumber, a little more folding of the hands to sleep.’ (Prov. 6:10) Thus does my corrupt heart plead for its own indulgence against the conviction of my better judgment. What shall I say? O Lord, save me from myself! Save me from the artifices and deceitfulness of sin! Save me from the treachery of this perverse and degenerate nature of mine, and fix upon my mind what I have now been reading!
“O Lord, I am not now instructed in truths which were before quite unknown. Often have I been warned of the uncertainty of life, and the great uncertainty of the day of salvation. And I have formed some light purposes, and have begun to take a few irresolute steps in my way toward a return to thee. But, alas! I have been only, as it were, fluttering about religion, and have never fixed upon it. All my resolutions have been scattered like smoke, or dispersed like a cloudy vapor before the wind. O that thou wouldst now bring these things home to my heart, with a more powerful conviction than it hath ever yet felt? O that thou would pursue me with them, even when I flee from them! If I should even grow mad enough to endeavor to escape them any more, may thy Spirit address me in the language of effectual terror, and add all the most powerful methods which thou knowest to be necessary to awaken me from this lethargy, which must otherwise be mortal! May the sound of these things be in mine ears ‘when I go out, and when I come in, when I lie down, and when I rise up!’ (Deut. 6:7) And if the repose of the night and the business of the day be for a while interrupted by the impression, be it so, O God! if I may but thereby carry on my business with thee to better purpose, and at length secure a repose in thee, instead of all that terror which I now find when ‘I think upon God, and I am troubled.’ (Psal. 77:3)
“O Lord,’my flesh trembleth for fear of thee, and I am afraid of thy judgments.’ (Psal. 119:120) I am afraid lest, even now that I have begun to think of religion, thou shouldst cut me off in this critical and important moment, before my thoughts grow to any ripeness, and blast in eternal death the first buddings and openings of it in my mind. But O spare me, I earnestly entreat thee: for thy mercies’ sake, Spare me a little longer! It may be, through thy grace I shall return. It may be, if thou continuest thy patience towards me while longer, there may be ‘some better fruit produced by this cumberer of the ground.’ (Luke 13:7) And may the remembrance of that long forbearance which thou hast already exercised towards me prevent my continuing to trifle with thee, and with my soul! From this day, O Lord, from this hour, from this moment, may I be able to date more lasting impressions of religion than have ever yet been made upon my heart by all that I have ever read, or all that I have heard. Amen.”
Confession of a Sinner convinced in general of his Guilt.
“O God! thou injured Sovereign, thou all-penetrating and Almighty Judge! what shall I say to this charge! Shall I pretend I am wronged by it, and stand on the defence in thy presence? I dare not do it; for ‘thou knowest my foolishness, and none of my sins are hid from thee.’ Psal. 69:5) My conscience tells me that a denial of my crimes would only increase them, and add new fuel to the fire of thy deserved wrath. ‘If I justify myself, mine own mouth will condemn me; if I say I am perfect, it will also prove me perverse;’ (Job 9:20) ‘for innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up: they are,’ as I have been told in thy name,’more than the hairs of my head; therefore my heart faileth me.’ (Psal. 40:12) I am more guilty than it is possible for another to declare or represent. My heart speaks more than any other accuser. And thou, O Lord, art much greater than my heart, and knowest all things. (1 John 3:20)
“What has my life been but a course of rebellion against thee? It is not this or that particular action alone I have to lament. Nothing has been right in its principles, and views, and ends. My whole soul has been disordered. All my thoughts, my affections, my desires, my pursuits have been wretchedly alienated from thee. I have acted as if I had hated thee, who art infinitely the loveliest of all beings; as if I had been contriving how I might tempt thee to the uttermost, and weary out thy patience, marvelous as it is. My actions have been evil, my words yet more evil than they! and, O blessed God, my heart, how much more corrupt than either! What an inexhausted fountain of sin has there been in it! A fountain of original corruption, which mingled its bitter streams with the days of early childhood; and which, alas! flows on even to this day, beyond what actions or words could express. I see this to have, been the case with regard to what I can particularly survey. But, oh! how many months and years have I forgotten, concerning which I only know this in the general, that they are much like those I can remember; except it be, that I have been growing worse and worse, and provoking thy patience more and more, though every new exercise of it was more and more wonderful.
“And how am I astonished that thy forbearance is still continued! it is because thou art ‘God, and not man.’ (Hos. 11:9) Had I, a sinful worm, been thus injured, I could not have endured it. Had I been a prince, I had long since done justice on any rebel whose crimes had borne but a distant resemblance to mine. Had I been a parent, I had long since cast off the ungrateful child who had made me such a return as I have all my life long been making to thee, O thou Father of my spirit! The flame of natural affection would have been extinguished, and his sight and his very name would have become hateful to me. Why then, O Lord, am I not ‘cast out from thy presence?’ (Jer. 52:3) Why am I not sealed up under an irreversible sentence of destruction! That I live, I owe to thine indulgence. But, oh! if there be yet any way of deliverance, if there be yet any hope for so guilty a creature, may it be opened upon me by thy Gospel and thy grace! And if any farther alarm, humiliation, or terror be necessary to my security and salvation, may I meet them and bear them all! Wound my heart, O Lord, so that thou wilt but afterwards ‘heal it;’ and break it in pieces, if thou wilt but at length condescend to bind it up.” (Hos.6:1)
The Meditation of a convinced Sinner giving up his vain pleas before God.
“Deplorable condition to which I am indeed reduced! I hare sinned, and ‘what shall I say unto thee, O thou Preserver of men?’ (Job 7:20) What shall I dare to say? Fool that I was, to amuse myself with such trifling excuses as these, and to imagine they could have any weight in thy tremendous presence, or that I should be able so much as to mention them there. I cannot presume to do it. I am silent and confounded: my hopes, alas! are slain, and my soul itself is ready to die too, so far as an immortal soul can die; and I am almost ready to say, O that it could die entirely! I am indeed a criminal in the hands of justice, quite disarmed, and stripped of the weapons in which I trusted. Dissimulation can only add provocation to provocation. I will therefore plainly and freely own it. I have acted as if I thought God was ‘altogether such a one as myself:’ but he hath said,’I will reprove thee; I will set thy sins in order before thine eyes;’ (Psal. 50:21) will marshal them in battle array. And, oh! what a terrible kind of host do they appear! and how do they surround me beyond any possibility of an escape! O my soul they have, as it were, taken thee prisoner, and they are bearing thee away to the divine tribunal.
“Thou must appear before it! thou must see the awful, the eternal Judge, who ‘tries the very reins,’ (Jer. 17:10) and who needs no other evidence, for he has ‘himself been witness to all thy rebellion.’ (Jer. 29:23) Thou must see him, O my soul! sitting in judgment upon thee; and, when He is strict to ‘mark iniquity,’ (Psal. 130:8) how wilt thou ‘answer him for one of a thousand!’ (Job 9:3) And if thou canst not answer him, in what language will he speak to thee! Lord, as things at present stand, I can expect no other language than that or condemnation. And what a condemnation is it! Let me reflect upon it! Let me read my sentence before I hear it finally and irreversibly passed. I know he has recorded it in his word, and I know, in the general, that the representation is made with gracious design. I know that be would have us alarmed, that we may not be destroyed. Speak to me, therefore, O God! while thou speakest not for the last time, and in circumstances when thou wilt hear me no more. Speak in the language of effectual error, so that it be not to speak me into final despair. And let thy word, however painful in its operation, be ‘quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword.’ (Heb. 4:12) Let me not vainly flatter myself let me not be left a wretched prey to those ‘who would prophecy smooth things to me,’ (Isa. 30:10) till I am sealed up under wrath, and feel thy justice piercing my soul, and ‘the poison of thine arrows drinking up all my spirits.’ (Job 6:4)
“Before I enter upon the particular view, I know, in the general, that ‘it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.’ (Heb. 10:31) O thou living God! in one sense I am already fallen into thine hands. I am become obnoxious to thy displeasure, justly obnoxious to it and whatever thy sentence may be, when it comes forth from thy presence (Psal. 17:2) I must condemn myself and justify thee. Thou canst not treat file with more severity than mine iniquities have deserved; and how bitter soever that cup of trembling may be (Isa. 51:17) which thou shalt appoint for me, I give judgment against myself, that I deserve ‘to wring out the very dregs of it.’ ” (Psal. 75:8)
The Reflection of a Sinner struck with the Terror of his Sentence.
“Wretch that I am, What shall I do, or whither shall I flee? ‘I am weighed in the balance, and and found wanting.’ (Dan. 5:27) This is indeed my doom; the doom I am to expect from the mouth of Christ himself, from the mouth of him that died for the redemption and salvation of men. Dreadful sentence! and so much the more dreadful when considered in that view! To what shall I look to save me from it? To whom shall I call? Shall I say to the rocks, fall upon me, and to the hills, cover me? (Luke 23:30) What should I gain by that? Were I indeed overwhelmed with rocks and mountains, they could not conceal me from the notice of his eye; and his hand could reach me with as much ease there as any where else.
“Wretch indeed that I am! O that I had never been born! O that I had never known the dignity and prerogative of the rational nature? Fatal prerogative indeed, that renders me obnoxious to condemnation and wrath! O that I had never been instructed in the will of God at all rather than that, being thus instructed, I should have disregarded and transgressed it! Would to God I had been allied to the meanest of the human race, to them that come nearest to the state of the brutes, rather than that I should have had my lot in cultivated Life, amidst so many of the improvements of reason, and (dreadful reflection!) amidst so many of the advantages of religion tool and thus to have perverted all to my own destruction! O that God would take away this rational soul! but, alas! it will live for ever, will live to feel the agonies of eternal death. Why have I seen the beauties and glories of a world like this, to exchange it for that flaming prison! Why have I tasted so many of my Creator’s bounties, to wring out at last the dregs of his wrath! Why have I known the delights of social life and friendly converse, to exchange them for the horrid company of devils and damned spirits in hell! Oh! ‘who can dwell with them in devouring flames? who can lie down’ with them ‘in everlasting, everlasting, everlasting burnings?’ (Isa. 33:14)
“But whom have I to blame in all this but my-self? What have I to accuse but my own stupid incorrigible folly? On what is all this terrible ruin to be charged, but on this one fatal, cursed cause that having broken God’s law. I rejected his Gospel too;
“Yet stay, O my soul, in the midst of all these doleful foreboding complaints. Can I say that I have finally rejected the Gospel? Am I not to this day under the sound of it? The sentence is not yet gone forth against me in so determinate a manner as to be utterly irreversible. Through all this gloomy prospect one ray of hope breaks in, and it is possible I may yet be delivered.
“Reviving thought! Rejoice in it, O my soul! though it be with trembling, and turn immediately to that God, who, though provoked by ten thousand offences, has not yet ‘sworn in his wrath that thou shalt never be permitted to hold further intercourse with him., or to ‘enter into his rest’ (Psal. 95:11)
“I do then, O blessed Lord! prostrate myself in the dust before thee, I own I am a condemned and miserable creature. But my language is that of the humble publican,’God be merciful to me a sinner!’ (Luke 18:13) Some general and confused apprehensions I have of a way by which I may possibly escape. O God, whatever that way is, show it me, I beseech thee! Point it out so plainly that I may not be able to mistake it! And. oh! reconcile my heart to it, be it ever so humbling, be it ever so painful!
“Surely, Lord, I have much to learn; but be thou my teacher! Stay for a little moment thine uplifted hand, and in thine infinite compassion delay the stroke till I inquire a little farther how I may finally avoid it!”
The Sinner’s Reflection on this Good News.
“O my soul, how astonishing is the message which thou hast this day received! I have indeed often heard it before and it is grown so common to me, that the surprise is not sensible. But reflect, O my soul, what it is thou hast heard, and say whether the name of a Savior whose message it is, may not well be called ‘Wonderful, counsellor,’ (Isa. 9:6) when he displays before thee such wonders of love, and proposes to thee such counsels of peace!
“Blessed Jesus, is it indeed thus? Is it not the fiction of the human mind? Surely it is not! What human mind could have invented or conceived it? It is a plain, a certain fact, that thou didst leave the magnificence and joy of the heavenly world in compassion to such a wretch as I! Oh! hadst thou from that height of dignity and felicity only looked down upon me for one moment, and sent some gracious word to me for my direction and comfort, even by the least of thy servants, justly might I have prostrated myself in grateful admiration, and have kissed ‘the very footsteps’ of him ‘that published the salvation.’ (Isa. 52:7) But didst thou condescend to be thyself the messenger? What grace had that been, though thou hadst but once in person made the declaration, and immediately returned back to the throne from whence divine compassion brought thee down? But this is not all the triumph of thine illustrious grace. It not only brought thee down to earth, but kept thee here in a frail and wretched tabernacle, for long successive years; and at length it cost thee thy life, and stretched thee out as a malefactor upon the cross, after thou hadst borne insult and cruelty which it may justly wound my heart so much as to think of. And thus thou hast atoned injured justice, and ‘redeemed me to God with thine own blood.’ (Rev. 5:9)
“What shall I say! ‘Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief!’ (Mark 9:24) It seems to put faith to the stretch, to admit what it indeed exceeds the utmost stretch of imagination to conceive. Blessed, for ever blessed be thy name, O thou Father of mercies, that thou hast contrived the way! Eternal thanks to the Lamb that was slain, and to that kind Providence that sent the word of this salvation to me! O let me not, for ten thousand worlds,’receive the grace of God in vain!’ (2 Cor. 6:1) O impress this Gospel upon my soul, till its saving virtue be diffused over every faculty! Let it not only be heard, and acknowledged, and professed, but felt! Make it ‘thy power to my eternal salvation;’ (Rom. 1:16) and raise me to that humble, tender gratitude, to that active, unwearied zeal in thy service, which becomes one ‘to whom so much is forgiven.’ (Luke 7:47) and forgiven upon such terms as these.
“I feel a sudden glow in mine heart while these tidings are sounding in mine ears; but, oh! let it not be a slight superficial transport! O let not this, which I would fain call my Christian joy, be as that foolish laughter, with which I have been so madly enchanted,’like the crackling blaze of thorns under a pot!’ (Eccles. 7:6) O teach me to secure this mighty blessing, this glorious hope, in the method which thou hast appointed; and preserve me from mistaking the joy of nature, while it catches a glimpse of its rescue from destruction, for that consent of grace which embraces and ensures the deliverance!”
Sinner yielding to these Entreaties, and declaring acceptance of Salvation by Christ.
“Blessed Lord, it is enough! It is too much! Surely there needs not this variety of arguments this importunity of persuasion, to court me to be happy, to prevail on me to accept of pardon, of life, of eternal glory. Compassionate Savior, my soul is subdued; so that I trust the language of thy grief is become that of my penitence, and I may say, ‘my heart is melted like wax in the midst of my bowels.’ (Psa. 22:14)
“O gracious Redeemer! I have already neglected thee too long. I have too often injured thee: have crucified thee afresh by my guilt and impenitence, as if I had taken pleasure in ‘putting thee to an open shame.’ (Heb. 6:6) But my heart now bows itself before thee in humble, unfeigned submission. I desire to make no terms with thee but these—that I may be entirely thine. I cheerfully present thee with a blank, entreating thee that thou will do me the honor to signify upon it what is thy pleasure. Teach me, O Lord, what thou wouldst have me to do; for I desire to learn the lesson, and to learn it that I may practice it. If it be more than my feeble powers can answer, thou wilt, I hope, give me more strength; and in that strength I will serve thee. O receive a soul which thou hast made willing to be thine!
“No more, O blessed Jesus, no more is it necessary to beseech and entreat me. Permit me rather to address myself to thee with all the importunity of a perishing sinner, that at length sees and knows ‘there is salvation in no other’ (Acts 4:12) Permit me now, Lord, to come and throw myself at thy feet like a helpless outcast that has no shelter but in thy gracious compassion! like one ‘pursued by the avenger of blood,’ and seeking earnestly an admittance ‘into the city of refuge!’ (Josh. 20:2,3) “‘I wait for the Lord; my soul doth wait; and in thy word do I hope,’ (Psa. 130:5) that thou wilt ‘receive me graciously.’ (Hos. 14:2) My soul confides in thy goodness, and adores it. I adore the patience which has borne with me so long; and the grace that now makes me heartily willing to be thine: to be thine on thine own terms, thine on any terms. O secure this treacherous heart to thyself! O unite me to thee in such inseparable bonds, that none of the allurements of flesh and blood, none of the vanities of an ensnaring world, none of the solicitations of sinful companions, may draw me back from thee, and plunge me into new guilt and ruin! ‘Be surety, O Lord, for thy servant for good,’ (Psa. 119:122) that I may stilt keep my hold on thee, and so on eternal life; till at length I know more fully, by joyful and everlasting experience, how complete a Savior thou art. Amen.”
Reflections on these Encouragements, ending in an humble and earnest Application to Christ for Mercy.
“O my soul! what sayest thou to these things? Is there not at least a possibility of help from Christ? And is there a possibility of help any other way? Is any other name given under heaven, whereby we can be saved? I know there is none. (Acts 4:12) I must then say, like the lepers of Israel, (2 Kings 7:4) ‘If I sit here, I perish; and if I make my application in vain, I can but die.’ But peradventure he may save my soul alive. I will therefore arise, and go ‘into him; or rather, believing him here, by his spiritual presence, sinful and miserable as I am, I will this moment fall down on my face before him, and pour out my soul unto him.
“Blessed Jesus, I present myself unto thee, as a wretched creature, driven indeed by necessity to do it. For surely, were not that necessity urgent and absolute, I should not dare, for very shame, to appear in thine holy and majestic presence. I am fully convinced that my sins and my follies have been inexcusably great, more than I can express, more than I can conceive. I feel a source of sin in my corrupt and degenerate nature, which pours out iniquity as a fountain sends out its water, and makes me a burden and a terror to myself. Such aggravations have attended my transgressions, that it looks like presumption so much as to ask pardon for them. And yet, would it not be greater presumption to say, that they exceed thy mercy, and the efficacy of thy blood; to say, that thou host power and grace enough to pardon and save only sinners of a lower order, while such as I lie out of thy reach? Preserve me from that blasphemous imagination! Preserve me from that unreasonable suspicion! Lord, thou canst do all things, neither is there any thought of mine heart withholden from thee. (Job 42:2) Thou art indeed, as thy word declares able to save unto the uttermost. (Heb. 7:25) And therefore, breaking through all the oppositions of shame and fear that would keep me from thee, I come and lie down as in the dust before thee. Thou knowest, O Lord! all my sins, and all my follies. (Psa. 69:5) I cannot, and I hope! may say, I would not disguise them before thee, or set myself to find out plausible excuses. Accuse me, Lord, as thou pleasest; and I will ingenuously plead guilty to all thine accusations. I will own myself as great a sinner as thou callest me; but I am still a sinner that comes unto thee for pardon. If I must die, it shall be submitting, and owning the justice of the fatal stroke. If I perish, it shall be laying hold, as it were, on the horns of the altar: laying myself down at thy foot-stool, though I have been such a rebel against thy throne. Many have received a full pardon there; have met with favor even beyond their hopes. And are all thy compassions, O blessed Jesus! exhausted? And wilt thou now begin to reject an humble creature who flies to thee for life, and pleads nothing but mercy and free grace? Have mercy upon me, O most gracious Redeemer! have mercy upon me, and let my life be precious in thy sight! (2 Kings 1:14) O do not resolve to send me down to that state of final misery and despair from which it was thy gracious purpose to deliver and save so many!
“Spurn me not away, O Lord! from thy presence, nor be offended when I presume to lay hold on thy royal robe, and say that I cannot and will not let thee go till my suit is granted! (Gen. 32:26) Oh! remember that my eternity is at stake! Remember, O Lord, that all my hopes of obtaining eternal happiness, and avoiding everlasting, helpless, hopeless destruction, are anchored upon thee; they hang upon thy smiles, or drop at thy frown,. O have mercy upon me, for the sake of this immortal soul of mine! Or if not for the sake of mine alone, for the sake of many others, who may, on the one hand, be encouraged by thy mercy to we, or, on the other, may be greatly wounded and discouraged by my helpless despair! I beseech thee, O Lord, for thine own sake, and for the display of thy Father’s rich and sovereign grace! I beseech thee by the blood thou didst shed on the cross! I beseech thee by the covenant of grace and peace, into which the Father did enter with thee for the salvation of believing and repenting sinners! save me, save me, O Lord, who earnestly desire to repent and believe! I am indeed a sinner, in whose final and everlasting destruction thy justice might be greatly glorified; but oh! if thou wilt pardon me, it will be a monument raised to the honor of thy grace and the efficacy of thy blood, in proportion to the degree in which the wretch, to whom thy mercy is extended, was mean and miserable without it. Speak, Lord, by thy blessed Spirit, and banish my fears! Look unto me with love and grace in thy countenance, and say to me, as in the days of thy flesh thou didst to many an humble supplicant,’Thy sins are forgiven thee, go in peace.’
The soul submitting to Divine Examination the Sincerity of its Repentance and Faith.
Lord God! thou searchest all hearts. and triest the reins of the children of men! (Jer. 17:10) Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psa. 139:23,24) Doth not conscience, O Lord, testify in thy presence, that my repentance and faith are such as have been described, or at least that it is my earnest prayer that they may be so? Come, therefore, O thou blessed Spirit, who art the author of all grace and consolation, and work this temper more fully in my soul. O represent sin to mine eyes in all its most odious colors, that I may feel a mortal and irreconcilable hatred to it! O represent the majesty and mercy of the blessed God in such a manner that my heart may be alarmed, and that it may be melted! Smite the rock, that the waters may flow: (Psa. 78:20) waters of genuine, undissembled, and filial repentance! Convince me, O thou blessed Spirit! of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment! (John 16:8) Show me that I have undone myself; but that my help is found in God alone, (Hos. 13:9) in God through Christ, in whom alone he will extend compassion and help to me! According to thy peculiar office, take of Christ and show it unto me. (John 16:15) Show me his power to save! Show me his willingness to exert that power I teach my faith to behold him as extended on the cross, with open arms, with a pierced, bleeding side; and so telling me, in the most forcible language, what room there is in his very heart for me! May I know what it is to have my whole heart subdued by love; so subdued as to be crucified with him; (Rom. 6:6) to he dead to sin and dead to the world, but alive unto God. through Jesus Christ. (Rom. 6:11) In his power and love may I confide! To him may I without any reserve commit my spirit! His image may I bear! His laws may I observe! His service may I pursue! And may I remain, through time and eternity, a monument of the efficacy of his Gospel, and a trophy of his victorious grace!
“O blessed God! if there be any thing wanting towards constituting me a sincere Christian, discover it to me, and work it in me! Beat down, I beseech thee, every false and presumptuous hope, how costly soever that building may have been which it thus laid in ruins, and how proud soever I may have been of its vain ornaments! Let me know the worst of my case, be that knowledge ever so distressing; and if there be remaining danger, O let my heart be fully sensible of it, sensible while yet there is a remedy!
“If there be any secret sin yet lurking in my soul, which I have not sincerely renounced, discover it to me, and rend it out of my heart, though it may have shot its roots ever so deep, and have wrapped them all around it, so that every nerve shall be pained by the separation! Tear it away, O Lord, by a hand graciously severe! And by degrees, yea, Lord, by speedy advances, go on, I beseech thee, to perfect what is still lacking in my faith. (l Thess. 3:10) Accomplish in me all the good pleasure of thy goodness. (2 Thess. 1:11) Enrich me, O Heavenly Father, with all the graces of thy Spirit; form me to the complete image of thy dear Son; and then, for his sake, come unto me, and manifest thy gracious presence in my soul, (John, 14:21,28) till it is ripened for that state of glory for which all these operations are intended to prepare it Amen.”
A Prayer, chiefly in Scripture Language, in which the several Branches of the Christian temper are more briefly enumerated in the order laid down above.
“Blessed God, I humbly adore thee as the great Father of lights, and the Giver of every good and every perfect gift. (Jam. 1:17) From thee, therefore, I seek every blessing, and especially those which may lead me to thyself, and prepare me for the eternal enjoyment of thee. I adore thee as the God who searches the hearts and tries the reins of the children of men. (Jer. 17:10) Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psa. 139:23,24) May I know what manner of spirit I am of; (Luke 9:55) and be preserved from mistaking, where the error might be infinitely fatal!
“May I, O Lord, be renewed in the spirit of my mind. (Eph. 4:24) A new heart do thou give me, and a new spirit do thou put within me. (Ezek. 34:26) Make me partaker of divine nature; (2 Pet. 1:4) and as he who hath called me is holy, may I be holy in all manner of conversation. (1 Pet. 1:15) May the same mind be in me which was also in Christ Jesus; (Phil. 2:5) may I so walk even as he walked. (1 John 2:6) Deliver me from being carnally-minded, which is death; and make me spiritually-minded, since that is life and peace. (Rom. 8:6) And may I, while I pass through this world of sense, walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7) and be strong in faith, giving glory to God. (Rom. 4:20)
“May thy grace, O Lord, which hath appeared unto all men, and appeared to me with such glorious evidence and lustre, effectually teach me to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, and to live soberly, righteously, and godly. (Tit. 2:11,12) Work in my heart that godliness which is profitable unto all things; (1 Tim. 4:8) and teach me by the influence of thy blessed Spirit, to love thee, the Lord my God, with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind, and with all my strength. (Mark 12:30) May I yield myself unto thee, as alive from the dead, (Rom. 6:13) and present my body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable in thy sight, which is my most reasonable service! (Rom. 12:1) May I entertain the most faithful and affectionate regard to the blessed Jesus, thine incarnate Son, the brightness of thy glory, and the express image of thy person. (Heb. 1:3) Though I have not seen him, may I love him; and in him, though now I see him not, yet believing, may I rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory, (1 Pet. 1:8) and may the life which I live in the flesh be daily by the faith of the Son of God. (Gal. 2:20) May I be filled with the Spirit, (Eph. 5:18) and may I be led by it; (Rom. 8:14) and so may it be evident to others, and especially to my own soul, that I am a child of God, and an heir of glory. May I not receive the spirit of bondage unto fear, but the spirit of adoption, whereby I may be enabled to cry, Abba, Father. (Rom. 8:15) May he work in me, as the spirit of love, and of power, and of a sound mind, (2 Tim. 1:7) that so I may add to my faith virtue. (2 Pet. 1:5) May I be strong, and very courageous. (Josh. 1:7) and quit myself like a man, (1 Cor. 16:13) and like a Christian, in the work to which I am called, and in that warfare which I had in view when I listed under the banner of the great Captain of my salvation.
“Teach me, O Lord, seriously to consider the nature of my own soul, and to set a suitable value upon it. May I labor, not only or chiefly, for the meat that perisheth, but for that which endureth to eternal life. (John, 6:27) May I humble myself under thy mighty hand, and be clothed with humility, (1 Pet. 5:5,6) decked with the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price. (1 Pet. 3:4) May I be pure in heart, that I may see God, (Matt. 5:8) mortifying my members which are on the earth, (Col. 3:5) so that if a right eye offend me, I may pluck it out, and if a right hand offend me, I may cut it off. (Matt. 5:29,30) May I be temperate in all things, (1 Cor. 9:25) content with such things as I have, (Heb. 13:5) and instructed to be so in whatever state I am. (Phil. 4:11) May patience also have its perfect work in me, that I may be in that respect complete, and wanting nothing. (Jam. 1:4)
“Form me, O Lord, I beseech thee, to a proper temper toward my fellow-creatures! May I love my neighbor as myself, (Gal. 5:14) and whatsoever I would that others should do unto me, may I also do the same unto them. (Matt. 7:12) May I put on meekness under the greatest injuries and provocations, (Col. 3:12) and, if it be possible, as much as lieth in me, may I live peaceably with all men. (Rom. 12:18) May I be merciful, as my Father in heaven is merciful. (Luke 6:36) May I speak the truth from my heart; (Psa. 15:2) and may I speak it in love, (Eph. 4:15) guarding against every instance of a censorious and malignant disposition; and taking care not to judge severely, as I would not be judged with the severity which thou, Lord, knowest, and which mine own conscience knows, I should not be able to support.
“I entreat thee, O Lord, to work in me all those qualifications of the Christian temper which may render it peculiarly acceptable to thee, and may prove ornamental to my profession in the world. Renew, I beseech thee, a right spirit within me, (Psa. 51:10) make me an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no allowed guile. (John 1:47) And while I feast on Christ, as my passover sacrificed for me, may I keep the feast with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. (1 Cor. 5:7,8) Make me, I beseech thee, O thou Almighty and unchangeable God! steadfast and immovable, always abounding in thy work, as knowing that my labor in the Lord shall not be finally in vain. (1 Cor. 15:58) May my heart be tender, 2 Kings 22:19, easily impressed with thy word and providence, touched with an affectionate concern for thy glory, and sensible of every impulse of thy Spirit. May I be zealous for my God, (Num. 25:13) with a zeal according to knowledge and charity, (1 Cor. 16:14) and teach me in thy service to join the wisdom of the serpent with the boldness of the lion and the innocence of the dove. (Matt. 10:16) Thus render me, by thy grace, a shining image of my dear Redeemer; and at length bring me to wear the bright resemblance of his holiness and his glory, in that world where he dwells; that I may ascribe everlasting honors to him, and to thee, O thou Father of mercies, whose invaluable gift he is, and to thine Holy Spirit, through whose gracious influence, I would humbly hope, I may call thee my Father, and Jesus my Savior! Amen.”
An humble Supplication for the Influences of Divine Grace, to form and strengthen Religion in the Soul.
“Blessed God! I sincerely acknowledge before thee my own weakness and insufficiency for any thing that is spiritually good. I have experienced it a thousand times; and yet my foolish heart would again ‘trust itself,’ (Prov. 28:26) and form resolutions in its own strength. But let this be the first fruits of thy gracious influence upon it, to bring it to an humble distrust of itself, and to a repose on thee!
“Abundantly do I rejoice, O Lord, in the kind assurances which thou givest me of thy readiness to bestow liberally and richly so great a benefit. I do therefore, according to thy condescending invitation, come with boldness to the throne of grace, that I may find grace to help in every time of need. (Heb. 4:16) I mean not, O Lord God, to turn thy grace into wantonness or perverseness (Jude, ver. 4) or to make my weakness an excuse for negligence and sloth. I confess that thou hast already given me more strength than I have used; and I charge it upon myself, and not on thee, that I have not long since received still more abundant supplies. I desire for the future to be found diligent in the use of all appointed means; in the neglect of which I well know that petitions like these would be a profane mockery, and might much more probably provoke thee to take away what I have, than prevail upon thee to impart more. But firmly resolving to exert myself to the utmost, I earnestly entreat the communication of thy grace, that I may be enabled to fulfil that resolution.
“Be surety, O Lord! unto thy servant for good. (Psa. 119:122) Be pleased to shed abroad thy sanctifying influences on my soul, to form me for every duty thou requirest. Implant, I beseech thee; every grace and virtue deep in my heart, and maintain the happy temper in the midst of those assaults from within and from without, to which I am continually liable while I am still in this world and carry about with me so many infirmities. Fill my breast, I beseech thee, with good affections towards thee, my God, and towards my fellow creatures. Remind me always of thy presence, and may I remember that every secret sentiment of my soul is open to thee. May I therefore guard against the first risings of sin, and the first approaches to it; and that Satan may not find room for his evil suggestions, I earnestly beg that thou, Lord, wouldst fill my heart with thine Holy Spirit, and take up thy residence there. Dwell in me, and walk with me, (2 Cor 6:16) and let my body be the temple of the Holy Ghost. (1 Cor. 6:19) “May I be so joined to Christ Jesus my Lord, as to be one spirit with him, (1 Cor. 6:17) and feel His invigorating influences continually bearing me on, superior to every temptation, and to every corruption; that while the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men utterly fall; I may so wait upon the Lord as to renew my strength, (Isai. 40:30,31) and may go on from one degree of faith, and love, and zeal, and holiness, to another, till I appear perfect before thee in Zion; (Psa. 84:7) to drink in immortal vigor and joy from thee, as the everlasting fountain of both, through Jesus Christ my Lord, in whom I have righteousness and strength, (Isai. 45:24) and to whom I desire ever to ascribe the praise of all my improvements in both. Amen.”
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