And Paul, earnestly beholding the council, said, Men and brethren, I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.
— Acts 23:1
And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.
— Acts 24:16
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
— Genesis 18:19
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
— Joshua 24:15
How May Times of Family and Private Duty Best Be Regulated to the Glory of God, Our Own Comfort, and The Advantage of Those Around Us?, by Samuel Pike and Samuel Hayward. The following contains Case Eight of their work, “Religious Cases Of Conscience Answered In An Evangelical Manner.” 1755.
Case 8. How may times of family and private duty best be regulated to the glory of God, our own comfort, and the advantage of those around us?
This question was sent to me with the following letter:
“Reverend Sir — The consideration of your answer to the question on the thirteenth of November, has renewed some difficulties I have often had on my mind with respect to the times of family and private religion. You there remarked that evening clubs and visits, so frequent among professors in the present day, are greatly injurious to the divine life. Now, it is our duty to make religion appear amiable to all about us, and particularly to our families. And a regular uniform practice of religion may have a tendency to engage those about us to at least pay reverence to what perhaps they despised before. Therefore, may not frequently bypassing times of family religion bring reproach upon it in the eyes of our children and servants, and performing it sometimes at one season, and sometimes at another, make them imagine that religion is only an incidental work? And yet, on the other hand, many unexpected circumstances turn up, and often oblige us to omit it when perhaps it is the proper season, and to put it off to the last hour of the day — a time when we are generally unfit for the service of God. As to the religion of the closet, I would be glad to have it always performed when in the best frame of mind, which cannot be when we are drowsy through the fatigues of the day. But, alas! this latter has been too much my case. To prevent this, I have sometimes thought, “I now have some time, and therefore I will make good use of it.” Yet, through the business and occurrences of the day, my thoughts have been far from being composed, and I have been in suspense whether to perform this duty or not. I have therefore sent you the above question, hoping an answer to it may give me satisfaction as to the path in which I should walk.”
This is a subject of great importance, which calls for our consideration. Oh! may we be enabled to attend to it with the utmost seriousness; and with a full determination, through divine grace, to pursue every conviction that may be made upon our mind concerning our duty! That I may answer this question so as not to be suitable only to this particular person, but also to all those who trifle with these sacred duties, I would throw my thoughts into the following method:
I. Family and private religion, morning and evening are in every way becoming to the Christian character, and they are necessary and important branches of Christian duty. There is certainly no impropriety in these duties, but rather an entire suitableness to the profession we make. They show the Christian to be all of a piece — how ornamental, how adorning uniformity is in someone of that sacred character! Some have all the public appearances of zealous, active, and growing Christians. They plead for Christ and testify of their love for him at his table. But look into their families, and you can see nothing that savours of real religion. What an inconsistency is here! Joshua resolved that he and his house would serve the Lord, Jos 24.15. And Abraham had a mark of commendation put upon him by God himself, for his care and diligence to teach his children and household the way of the Lord, Gen 18.19. Family prayer may not be essential to the Christian; but it is no honour to the heads of families who profess godliness, to have it said that they have no religion in their houses. Some, not willing to wholly omit it, attend to it on the Lord’s day; others every evening. But is this filling up the character of a Christian as head of a family? Isn’t there as great a necessity for worship, and as great a beauty in it, in the morning as in the evening? Isn’t it a more comfortable thing to pray for preservation from sin in the morning, than to confess those faults we have fallen into for lack of it, in the evening? It was a practice that our forefathers were found in — a practice I must say, necessary to our being flourishing Christians. It was a practice which God has for all ages set his seal to, by blessing those persons and families who have seriously attended to it. As for private religion, I persuade myself that no professing Christians can object to it, though too many neglect it; and therefore their souls must be starving. We cannot be thriving Christians, and be but little with God in private. It is here that we meet with God, as well as in public ordinances. And He that carries on his work in our souls, gives us communion with himself, and trains us up for glory.
II. Family and private religion should be performed in such a manner, and at such seasons, as may tend the most to honour God and promote the good of souls. We should not therefore pray, or read the scriptures, in a slothful, indifferent manner, as if these were duties of no importance. This is teaching our children and servants to look at them as trifling, and therefore as what may either be performed or not. We should not attend to family duties in haste, or hurry past them, as if we wanted to be gone, or thought them a burden; nor should we perform them at unseasonable times, when it is most unlikely that God would be honoured, or our souls profited. We should attend with the utmost seriousness, pray with great affection, great reverence and importunity of soul, so that we may strike the minds of those about us with an awe of God, convince them of the excellence of real religion, and bring them to an esteem of sacred things. We should likewise attend to them at those times when the great ends of these duties are most likely to be answered. Thus, in the closet we should not think it is enough just to mention a few things in prayer in a lifeless manner, or as a parrot talks by rote, and then hurry away again, as if the duty were over. Nor should we choose those times when we cannot attend to our duty as we ought. We should endeavour to enter our private duties in the most serious frame, and in general, aim to have enough time to read a portion of God’s word, think it over in our own mind, take a view of our own heart, and then seek the Lord by prayer and supplication. In thus attending to these duties, we may hope for the presence and blessing of God to make them useful to our own soul, and the souls of our families.
III. We should not wait till we find ourselves in a lively desirable frame, before we enter upon these duties. The person, who sent us this case says that when he has had time to attend to private worship, he has often found himself out of frame, and so he has found it difficult to decide whether to engage in that duty or not. To guide us in this, we may observe that if we are not to wait upon God till we find our souls in a suitable frame, then we may not wait upon him at all. For instance — suppose, with regard to this private duty, you have an opportunity for it in the afternoon, but you find your soul out of tune. The world crowds into your mind, and unfits you for waiting upon God; or some difficulties you have met with perplex your thoughts, or you find a sad slothfulness and drowsiness of soul. On this account you wait till the close of the day, hoping that it will then be better with you. But alas! it is much the same, perhaps even worse for you. The hour of rest has almost come, and our feeble nature wants some refreshment. Must you omit your duty now, because you find your soul is still out of frame?
For the same reason you may put it off from day to day, and so live in the total neglect of it. If we are indisposed for the duty, and yet we apprehend that this the most suitable opportunity we will have for private duty, let us embrace it. Let us call upon our soul to awaken; let us read the word of God, and proceed to prayer. Before the duty is over, our soul may be better; our affections may be enlivened; our hard heart may be softened; we may feel the powerful influences of the love of Jesus, and we may rise from our knees quickened and strengthened. In sum, if we wait for a good frame, we may neglect all duty, even public worship. It’s not that we are to encourage slothfulness, and grow careless about the temper of our mind, and rush into the presence of God without seriousness. We should take some pains with our cold, frozen, and wandering heart before we enter upon our public or private duties, and consider what we are going about. An attempt in some manner such as the following, may be a means of raising our attention and of filling our souls with a peculiar solemnity:
“My soul, I am going to be the mouth of my family to God, to read his word, and go before them in religious duties. But oh, why this trifling, sleepy frame? Consider what you are going about, and let me be on my watch, lest my family see anything in my spirit or behaviour that may give them a distaste for any part of religion. Lord, warm my heart, so that with lively affection I may seek You for my dear children and servants, may mourn over their sins, and commit them to your grace and protection, that they may be satisfied about the reality of religion, and that I have a true concern for their immortal souls.”
Or, if you are entering upon your private duties, endeavour to get your mind composed. With some degree of solemnity, say to your soul:
“I am going to separate a few moments from the world, and engage in the worship of the closet. But my heart! Why so cold? Why this indifference? Come, my soul! Let your loins be girded and your lights burning — who knows but that I may meet with my Lord? He may favour me with his gracious presence, and I may find it to be a pleasant hour. Away then, these trifling thoughts. Where is my faith, my zeal, my love?”
Thus, just as we shouldn’t wait for a suitable frame, so we shouldn’t rush boldly upon our duties, but labour to get our mind freed from dullness and distractions, and filled with that seriousness of spirit which is suited to the solemn duties we are called to.
IV. Just as there is no particular hour appointed in the word of God for family and private religion, so we must attend to these duties at those seasons we judge are most suited to the conveniences of both, and correspond to the ends for which they are calculated. As to the time or hour of family prayer, it is a prudential thing, and should be suited to the circumstances of families, so that we may make this part of religion as easy as possible — that those under our care may not esteem it burdensome, and attend to it grudgingly. If a master exercises sovereign authority in this case, and determines the time without asking what may be most suitable to his family, then he may, by such imprudence, prejudice the minds of some of his family against him, and against that worship that is of so much importance. Because much depends on a person’s prudence, let me give you the following directions:
1. Look at it as a matter of great concern to have family and private religion suitably attended to. Your family is concerned in the one; your own soul in the other. Therefore, don’t treat these things as trifling matters, but as things that deserve much study, care, and thought, to perform them in a manner that may be useful to those who are to join with you, win the minds of your children and servants, and convince them that there is a reality and importance in religion. As to private religion, the prosperity of your own soul is concerned. If you are negligent or careless here, you are likely to go on in a customary lifeless manner, and not get one step forward to appearance on your way to heaven. It requires, therefore, your serious consideration of how and when to perform these duties, so that it may suit the most valuable purposes.
2. Carry the matter to God by prayer for direction. In all circumstances we should look up to God, especially in those affairs in which his glory is most evidently concerned. This affair calls for a great measure of prudence, seriousness, faithfulness, and resolution. Therefore, you should often look up to Him for guidance, and for everything that is necessary towards profitably discharging the duties of the family and the closet. Beg of God, that he would impress you with a sense of the importance of these duties to your family and to your own soul; that he would enable you to have his glory in view in them; and that he would make you desire to attend to them in such a manner, and at such seasons, as may satisfy some great and valuable ends for those who join with you in them. In doing this, you may expect the blessing of God upon you, and all that direction he has promised in Pro 3.6,30 and that is suitable to your particular difficulties.
3. Just as there is no particular direction or command in the word of God as to the hour of private and family worship, so there is nothing criminal in not observing a stated, fixed time. Some families have but little interruption. Their circumstances will easily permit them to settle a particular hour for worship. Yet at times, even these may be prevented by some unexpected occurrences, from observing the time appointed. Let them not think they are criminal in this, for it is not the time that is so much to be regarded, as the worship itself, and the manner of its being conducted. Other families cannot fix upon any particular hour; their circumstances are so situated as to render it impracticable without the highest and most evident inconvenience. To observe a settled rule is not absolutely necessary to make the family think well of religion. Through habit they may fall into formality, and lose the spirit of worship. When you perform it sometimes at one time, and sometimes at another, it doesn’t tend to lessen their esteem for it, provided that it isn’t owing to any apparent negligence in you, and that you perform it in a suitable manner. Your families will in general see the reasons for your not keeping to an hour; they will in some measure weigh them in their own minds, and pass their verdict on your conduct. Therefore, we should be careful how we act, so as to keep in their minds honourable thoughts of religion, and yet so as to avoid sinking into formality and superstition. Thus, as to private worship, we are not to pay any superstitious regard to a particular hour, but chiefly regard the manner in which we attend to it.
4. Seriously and thoroughly examine your case, and take that method that appears to you most conducive to honour God, and to promote your own and your family’s good. Here I would be a little particular as to morning and evening worship.
1. As to morning closet 31 worship — it seems evident that if those duties are profitably performed, the best time is before we set about the world. If we neglect these till after we have been engaged in our secular affairs, we will find it difficult to perform them in a suitable, serious manner, with a mind free from distractions. It is most fitting that we give God our first hours. It is good to begin the day with Him. Watch over your frames then, when you rise; and if you would spend much time with God in a morning, ;that it may be for your growth in grace and for your spiritual advantage, then get used to early rising. You sluggish Christian! If you but knew what sweet communion some have with God in the duties of the closet, while you are slumbering on your bed, it would certainly rouse and awake you. Oh, the precious moments that slide away, while you are crying, A little more sleep, a little more slumber, there is time enough to rise! No wonder you find your heart so cold, and the divine life so feeble and so languid in your soul. You have but little time to attend to it. you spend so many hours in sleep, that as soon as you rise from your bed, your business calls for your attention. And so you must either neglect your closet, or sadly curtail its duties, and perform them in a cold and trifling manner.
As to family religion in the morning — Which appears the most fit and proper, to call the family together as soon as possible, or to defer it till after we have refreshed our animal nature, and sat down as a family to our morning meal? The first certainly seems to be the most suitable; yet all families are not in the same circumstances, and therefore all cannot do alike. By this I would not encourage you to be indifferent to, or neglectful of these duties, but leave it to your prudence as to the time. Seriously weigh the matter; and if you can call the family together, or as many as can be spared from the necessary affairs of life, let it be done as soon as possible, because yours and their minds are then freest from distractions. But if you should meet with unexpected interruptions, don’t neglect the worship, but catch the first opportunity to attend to it.
2. As to evening worship. — Consider your engagements in the evening, and embrace that time which appears most convenient for yourself and your family.
As to yourself in private, if you can spend some time with God before you go out, let it be done — because this may be a means to preserve you in the midst of any temptations that may fall in your way, and of keeping you from a frame of mind that may be dishonourable to God, and injurious to your own soul.
As for your families, you may take the same method with them too, provided your engagements appear necessary, and attending to them would put off family worship to an unseasonable hour. If in general you have your evenings to yourselves, it appears fittest to worship God before the evening meal. Then your spirits are freest, your bodies have the least fatigue. Otherwise, if you defer it to the last hour, you may be rendered unfit for it through the hurries of the day; and your families wanting rest, may think it rather burdensome, instead of joining in it with any degree of pleasure and willingness. This would be to offer the limping and the lame in sacrifice to God; therefore avoid this if you possibly can. But, if through some unexpected occurrences, it cannot be prevented, then guard your families against being burdened. If your evenings are not your own, you must then embrace that time that Providence offers you. Don’t mistake me here: I would not encourage anyone to make a habit of spending their evenings abroad, to the neglect of their families and their closets. But as this cannot be avoided at times, use that prudence which becomes your character as Christians.
In brief — Don’t be over-scrupulous on the one hand, or negligent on the other. Don’t think that because you cannot keep to a fixed hour, or because through interruptions you cannot fulfil your resolutions, you are criminal — provided that the souls of your family lie upon your mind, you desire to honour God in your house, and you are enabled to attend to family duties in a serious, solemn, and instructive manner. And don’t willingly indulge any slothfulness or negligence; but carefully guard against everything that has a tendency to dishonour God, and to give those around you any trifling thoughts of religion.
Having thus given you a few thoughts on this important subject, I would close with a particular address to different sorts of persons.
1. To those who neglect family and private religion. Are there any among you? Do you call yourselves Christians? Do you make a profession of faith in Christ? What, and yet you never pray — neither in the family nor in the closet? I pity you with my whole soul. Permit me to expostulate with you a little on this topic. I dare not say that you are not Christians because you don’t pray in your families; but I may certainly say that you don’t act like it. Oh, don’t you ever consider the sad example that you are setting before your dear children and servants? Don’t you ever consider the cruelty you are guilty of to their souls? Don’t you ever view that awful day when you must give an account of your stewardship? Are you professors, and yet there is nothing of God in your families? Have your servants seen as much in a heathen family as in yours? What a dishonour you are, you irreligious parents and masters, what a dishonour to the Christian cause! Never complain about your children’s wickedness, or your servants’ impiety — you never taught them better by an example in the family; you never prayed with them.
And do you neglect private religion too? I may then warrantably say, you are no Christians, except in name. Your hopes of salvation are all in vain; you are still in your sins. Oh! let me importune you to consider, before it is too late! Your souls are perishing, starving, sinking, and will soon be lost forever, unless sovereign grace plucks you like brands out of the burning. Oh, while you are crying Peace, peace, how awful if sudden destruction should come upon you, as travail upon a woman with child! Then you will not, you cannot possibly escape! Oh, that I could draw or drive you to your knees!
2. I would address those who keep up family worship in part, but not regularly. Some of you, perhaps, attend only on the Lord’s day. You cannot let this day slip by without showing your families that you have some regard for religion, even though all week long you can slight it. And why is this? What, is religion of no importance on a weekday? Are your families never to be put in mind of God and eternity during the week? Perhaps you cannot find the time. Your engagements are such that you cannot be at home till an unseasonable hour, and then in great measure you are unfit for it, and so you neglect it. Thus you would gratify an inclination to pleasure or company every evening, and neglect your soul and the souls of your family.
Excuse the liberty I take with you. It is, I hope if I know my own heart, out of regard for the honour of my Redeemer, and tender love for your own souls. Others attend every evening, but not in the morning. Your greatest objection to morning worship, I apprehend, is lack of opportunity. But if you were to leave your beds a little earlier, and manage your affairs with discretion, you would soon see the vanity of this excuse, and easily find time for morning worship. Can you rationally expect the blessing of God upon you during the day? Isn’t it worth asking for as a family? Remember, an excuse may pass with man, but not with God. Can you tell Him you have no time? Oh, consider seriously this weighty affair!
3. I would address those who keep up the worship of the family morning and evening. And I would call upon you to examine your ends and views in all you do, to inquire into the frame in which you generally attend to family religion, and be humbled by what you have been defective in. How lame your duties have often been! How imperfectly performed! How often hurried over, as if a task! Have you been concerned to impress your children and servants with a real sense of religion? Have you been contented with mere prayer; and not added instruction to this too? Oh, have the souls of your family lain upon your heart? Have you prayed for yourself and them, like a person in good earnest? And have you endeavoured to walk according to your prayers? Has it been your concern to live in the discharge of those duties which you have recommended to your family? Is it your endeavour to so walk, that they may not think meanly of that religion which you profess? Go on, my dear friends, in your families and your closets, and let nothing discourage you.
4. I would address those who are just entering into the world, and becoming heads of families. It is oftentimes a difficulty with such persons to set up family religion. But my friends, what is there for you to be ashamed of? Can’t you pray with that connection and fluency of expression that you think may be useful? Don’t be discouraged, but attempt it in the strength of the Lord, and you will find Him far better to you than all your fears. God doesn’t always make the finest prayers the most useful, but blesses weak means to carry on His work. Fear not, he will encourage your small beginnings. If you give way to fears, they will grow upon you, and consequently your difficulties of setting up religion in your families will increase. Go to God, therefore, and beg that he would give you courage and resolution to walk before and in your family, suitably to your character. Set up religion, therefore, in the name and strength of the Lord; and fear not, you will find him a good master to serve. Let me entreat you, do not neglect family worship. If you expect the blessing of God upon your worldly endeavours; if you would enjoy peace in your own mind; if you would have a religious family, and prosperity in your own soul; in brief, if you would honour Christ in your day, then set up family worship! Oh, begin with God, and let all around you see that amidst your pursuits of this world, you desire to have your eyes chiefly fixed upon another, and to make the concerns of your soul your principal business!
5. I would address those who have the privilege of being in families where religion is kept up.
1. I would speak to children — And you, my young friends, who have the privilege of religious parents, and all the privileges of family religion, have reason indeed to be thankful. How many children hear nothing but blasphemies from their parents, and see nothing but what tends to poison their minds, and to increase that hatred of divine things with which they were born! But you have been instructed in the principles of religion; you have had a good example before you. You know your parents love you, for they watch over your soul. They weep over you; they carry you to the throne of grace, and would rejoice to see you the children of God. Happy souls! What numbers of petitions have been, and are daily sent up to heaven for you! Happy souls, to have a visible interest in the promise: Gen 17.7. I will be a God to you, and to your seed after you! Surely your heart has been melted often! Surely you highly esteem your privileges! You cannot be profane and careless, surely! Oh, for you to sin costs you much! For you to live and die strangers and enemies to Christ will be inexpressibly awful! What must the punishment be, that will be inflicted upon you! May we not suppose the Judge saying,“Here is the child of religious parents. Here is one who had all the privileges of a religious education. But he wouldn’t hearken to the entreaties of his parents; he was deaf to every argument, and hardened under all their tears. Take him away, you ministers of vengeance. Heat the furnace seven times hotter for him, and let him have his dwelling with everlasting burnings.” Oh, tremble, tremble, my dear young friends; tremble at the thoughts of being found enemies of Jesus. And beg of God, that he would enable you to prize your privileges, and give you the teachings of his Spirit, that you may grow under all your enjoyments, and be the real followers of a gracious Mediator!
\
2. I would speak to you who are servants in such families. Do you prize your mercies? Bless God, that he has cast your lot where you hear of Jesus and salvation; where you are under the care of praying masters, those who long for the salvation of your soul. How many have been under some convictions? But being in irreligious families, their convictions have been stifled, and through the influence of an evil example, they have gone back to folly. But you are not only where you hear of salvation, but where every conviction upon your mind will be cherished and encouraged, and all means used to bring you to a saving acquaintance with Christ, and promote your growth in grace. Oh, prize your privileges; highly esteem those you serve; attend to their instructions, and let your walk and conversation be suitable to your character and enjoyments. Oh, if you should perish, how many will rise up against you, and say,“We didn’t have the privileges of a religious master; we heard nothing of Jesus; but you had daily opportunities to hear of salvation, and to attend to the concerns of your soul!” Oh, how cutting the reflection, to consider that once you were prisoners of hope, that you were invited and exhorted to seek an interest in Jesus Christ; but now it is over with you forever!
Oh, that you may be sensible of your invaluable enjoyments, that you carefully and seriously attend to family worship, and be concerned to know God and the Gospel of his dear Son! Amen.
https://takeupcross.com
takeupcross
Take Up the Cross 